It
is already 3 months since 2019 started and here I am still finding it difficult
to adjust in writing 2019 in the year section of the date. I always need to
make a mental note that we have entered 2019. For me 2018, was a year of
learning, learning from struggles, bad experience and unpredictable events. As
far as I can recall my last memory of 2017 was me not getting terminated. Even
though 2017 ended on a very positive note, my 2018 didn’t start on a good note
but as we know every coin has two sides, I had with me lined up some of the
cherished and precious moments/incidents/stories of 2018, which touched my
heart, all these incidents and events appeared in front of me in disguise of
bad experience/incident but ultimately they turned out to be great life lessons,
that took me one step closer to my journey to self-discovery
Here,
I go with the first incident that happened in 2018.
As
I always say, I am blessed and surrounded with kind and loving people in my
life. Every person who enters my life hold their own unique place in my heart.
This story is of a person who I met in 2017, he was a Nepali person and was my
roommates Uncle. I used to call him,”Baba”. I met him through my roommate
reference, he used to visit her niece and that is how we formed a unique bond.
My equation with him was just like a Father Daughter bond, even though he is
not that old. He is a man in his late thirties and has a beautiful wife and son
in his country in Nepal. He is a Chef by profession and is really a great cook.
He, his roommates, my roommates made the few handful people I trusted blindly
in UAE (after my brother and office colleagues).
In
SEPTEMBER 2017, we all shifted to a new building- Our owner was from Pakistan
and in the room we were 4 girls when we first shifted, but after 1 month 2
girls left and 2 new ladies shifted, one was a lady hailing from Mumbai (A lady
in her early Forties) and other was a girl from Nepal. I bonded with everyone
but with Baba and his niece, I used to spend more time after my office hours. Baba
used to live on the 8th Floor and his niece and I used to share a
room in the 2nd floor of the same building. It was just like another
family for me in UAE. I spent some of the most celebrated moments with all of
them. We all used to eat together at night. But if change is fated then even a split
second can change everything. This one small incident that changed my approach
towards life revolves around one thing, you can say, the hero of this story is
“Matta Rice”. Yes! You read it right.
As
a south Indian, I prefer Matta rice over white rice, every day after office, I
used to cook rice and curry and then around 8.30 – 9.00 pm we all used to eat
together at Baba’s room. Usually people do not like Matta rice , but Baba as a
chef knew its health benefits and was the only one having it, so it kind of
become a routine for me, cooking rice for both of us. This rice is prepared in
a very different way and needs an extra effort than the normal. He used to cook
for his niece and roommate and sometimes he used to bring food from his
kitchen. This way my whole life was surrounded, occupied by people who I loved
spending time with. No matter what the time, whether I am tired or not, I just
used to adjust my plan as per theirs because I considered them no less than a
family. But life cannot be same always, people change, relations change and
many unexpected things happen. As per Murphy’s Law,
"Anything that can go wrong will go
wrong".
This
is what exactly happened, during the time the sword of termination was hanging
on my head, Baba was on annual leave, and I never informed anything to anyone-
except to my family (No point in worrying over something which I cannot
control). I was just taking life each day at a time. He came back in November-2017,
I told him my situation and told him that I am serving my notice period and I
am uncertain of my job. I was applying on different Job portals for job and was
forwarding my CV to people I know. Not much hopeful and prepared my mind that I
will go back to India, if that is what is fated for me, but before going back
I’ll explore and try all the possible options. I forwarded my CV to Baba and my
roommates. That phase was little stressful but as I was surrounded by positive
people, I never actually felt the stress. Even though there was no hope still I
was calm, happy and grateful that atleast I got this opportunity. I asked for
universe for the best possible solution and in exchange of solution, I offered
my faith and made a small wish, that if my problem is resolved and everything
ends well then for 1 week, I will only eat fruits- that was the best I can do,
because I believe the fact that “We do not get something from nothing”
and miraculously, the problem got solved as my Manager, told me to continue
even after the notice period ended, so as promised I started my fast (No salt,
No sugar, only water and fruits). At that time, I used to cook rice only for
Baba (Why he should fast because of me). I used to get tired, but my respect
and admiration for him made me going, I always used to take stairs while going
to 8th Floor from 2nd floor, as our building lifts were
always busy.
It
was the last day of my fast, I guess it was just the day when the Murphy’s Law
played its best part, it was meant to happen. I came back from office, as usual
I placed rice in the pressure cooker and I was doing some work on Laptop.
Around 7.00 pm, I got the call from Baba, asking me to reach his room for food.
I told him the rice is not yet prepared and it will take more half an hour so
around 7.30 I will be there. He said, “Okay, I’ll be waiting”. I
continued with my work and within 15 minutes he called me back to come up,
saying the food is ready (Even though I was fasting, I just used to go up to accompany
them, I used to eat fruits and give rice to Baba). I told him, “Okay I will
be there, it is almost done, just need to strain the water”. I left all my
work, in a hurry I did everything, I climbed all the way up and when I entered
the room, there were guests there, I said hello to everyone and his roommates
responded to my hello, Baba was doing something on the laptop, he didn’t even
turn to respond. Assuming he is busy I sat on the bed. My roommate was already
there, she was watching a movie. Guest and roommates were talking among
themselves and in between surfing on their mobile phone. I was watching
everyone, sitting all by myself. Many times in my past conversation with Baba, I
used to say Baba and other people in his room, in fact it was the punch line I
always used to say in a humorous way, “Iss Mobile ne sab ki Zindagi Karab
kar di hai (This mobile has ruined everyone’s life)”, whenever they
used to be on phone, when I used to visit their room and to grab their
attention, I used to use this line. I absolutely hate the fact that when
someone is talking with you and you are doing something on your mobile- I can
understand when it is urgent and important and I don’t mind that, but it is
seen that people just cannot resist that temptation to keep their phone aside. “I
believe if I am giving my energy and time to someone, they should value it and
expect the same from them” and this belief of me is what went wrong, I
expected things to be certain way.
It
was at that time, while I was sitting in that room all by myself, everyone busy
in their phone. I always keep my phone aside whenever I talk with someone and
is just not used to it. I tried indulging myself in the phone, but it is just
not me. For no reason I was feeling really sad sitting there, a sudden
realization and some thoughts and questions were piling up in my mind, Thoughts
such as, What am I doing here? Why he called me twice when the food is still
not ready? (He went outside once to look for the Daal that was placed on the
stove, he passed by the door to the
kitchen and still he didn’t see me, he just passed by, maybe he was mentally
wandering somewhere, he came back again and again started his work on laptop).
I tried to shrug off all these thoughts? But they came out even stronger. The
unanswered questions were bothering me, I felt ignored (I don’t know whether it
was my ego or self-respect, but I felt really bad, I was doubting my presence
in that room). I was doing my work on laptop, I left all my work, came all the
way up just to spend some good time with the people who I thought valued my
presence and loved my company. I was feeling as if my existence and presence is
limited to that rice box only, I just came here to deliver the rice, my job is
done here. I waited patiently for some more 15 minutes there, just sitting
there and finally I decided to leave, because my own thoughts were suffocating
my mind. I left the tiffin there, came out of the room, expecting someone will
ask me where am I going, but no one even noticed while I left. I came out of
their room, reached my room, left my phone on charging and went out for my
evening walk- it helps me think and calm myself down. I was walking and my
heart was just so heavy that I couldn’t understand why I am thinking this way.
One part of me was trying to convince myself that, he really might be busy, you
shouldn’t have left that way and the other part was telling, you did right, you
took the right decision- otherwise the thoughts and bitterness rising to the
surface of my mind would have made the situation worse. That struggle continued
and I just kept walking. I was fighting with my own thought process, trying to
reach to a solution where my mind and heart will be at peace. I cried a lot
that day. When I came back home it was 10.00 pm. I lay down on my bed still
restless, I checked my phone and there were 2 missed calls from Baba. It was
late so I didn’t call back and to be honest I was angry and when I am angry I
prefer silence for some time because I think it is better to be silent than
uttering words that I might regret later.
Next
morning I decided, I will take his call if he will call me. So I reached
office. I was working and suddenly his Whatsapp message caught my attention. He
greeted me Good Morning and asked me are you angry with me? What
am I supposed to respond to that question, ” Good Morning, yes I am angry with
you”(I didn’t reply- Because he didn’t even realize that I am angry- why a
person will not reply to you or not take your calls, isn’t it obvious that the
person is angry) because for me it was not the right question, I thought he
will ask,” What happened, why you left yesterday or why are you angry?”,
Atleast these questions I can answer. After that he never messaged. I reached
home, hoping he might visit room and ask for explanation for my
actions/behavior atleast in a scolding/rightful manner, but he didn’t show up.
As usual I cooked the rice, packed it and handed it to her niece to give to
him. Her niece who was my roommate too asked me the reason, I told her the reason
with the intention that atleast Baba will indirectly know the reason. No reply,
no message from his end that day. Next day, the same, I simply waited, in the
evening her niece handed a rice bag to me telling,” Baba gave this bag, you
were mentioning know, it got finished and he told me to inform you that no need
to cook rice, he will eat it only if you go to his room and eat with him”. (Precap:
My rice bag was almost finished, Baba and I used to buy rice bags on alternate
basis so just before this incident (a night before we talked about it. He told
me he will buy as it was his turn.))
I
guess it was the bad phase, my mind was just not digesting the fact that this
is happening, my heart was just not ready to go to his room (It just didn’t
feel right), why can’t he talk with me, why is he not reaching out to me. Does
I hold no value? These thoughts were causing the bitter person of my
personality to rise. Even though he never messaged/called after that for
straight 1 week, I always cooked rice of his share, but he straight away said
no. Quantity wise it was very much for me because his intake was good, for
three straight days, I ate that rice because I hate wasting food and finally I decided
that if he doesn’t want to eat, I’ll stop making rice not even for myself. Why
he sent the rice bag at the first place if he doesn’t want to eat? I
stopped making rice. I kept the bag as it is. Never touched it and my mind was
saying, “Just buy the same new rice bag and return it, he will cook for
himself- but that would have hurt his ego or would have made situation even
more worse, so I decided to let it be and wait, maybe he will understand, just
give him some time” (I thought we shared a very nice bond, how long can be
ignore). To my surprise, after that Good Morning message the one which he sent
on the other day of the incident, he never tried reaching me by any of the
sources and my mind was just not willing to accept this. Was it that difficult
for him? Does I not exist for him anymore? Is this my ego or his? Am I wrong?
Is it too late now, many questions were bothering me. I was talking with his
niece in a normal way but our equation also began to change, she now started
spending less time in the room, at instance she started ignoring me. I never
understood, what wrong I did to her. I was restless and was unable to resolve
this issue between us and get hold of the situation.
Seeing
my situation, my other roommate- The lady from Mumbai, (she has her own
interesting story which I will share in future blogs) she was there to support
me, I didn’t use to eat, so she used to keep food for me. She used to
understand my situation, my bond with her grew stronger with each passing day,
but at the back of my mind I always wanted to mend/end things on a comfortable
note with Baba. I always try correcting a situation from my end. My third
roommate, one day told me it is almost 2 weeks, new year is also about to come,
I know you are restless and confused, you shared a nice bond with him, “if
he is not approaching you, you go talk, what is the problem? Okay just try a
Whatsapp message, then it will be clear whether he cares or not, he is elder to
you, there is no shame in keeping your ego aside. Atleast you will reach a
decision”. I took her advice and that day I cooked rice again and dropped
him a message at around 8.00 pm that the rice is cooked, in case you have not
finished your dinner. I got his message, “Thank you but we already finished
eating” and there the conversation ended again. That was unexpected,
atleast I tried conversing but that was the end. I was hurt, because I just
felt the coldness in emotions.
On
28th December 2017, the day was Thursday, her niece was not at home,
she used to go for Part time job on Thursdays. I got a call from Baba at around
10.00 pm, which is really an odd time for me. I was wondering for few time
whether to take the call or not and the call got disconnected. Many thoughts
were crossing my mind, the only possible answer that came in my mind was , he
is calling at this hour just to know why his niece didn’t go up to eat, or is
she at room or maybe now he wants to talk to me. While I was in this dilemma
and was lost in my own thoughts, the phone rang one more time and I missed it.
I decided, 3rd ring and I will pick it up quickly but there was no 3rd
ring, I didn’t had the balance and I had nothing to talk now because I don’t
know why he was calling me. Oh damn, did I just lost that opportunity to mend
things. I just left the topic.
Next
day, on Friday 29th Dec, I suddenly recalled that it is my roommates
Birthday. I wished her in the morning. I was home as it was my off, she got
ready for her birthday bash. Before leaving the room, she asked, “why didn’t
you take Baba’s call, yesterday he was trying to reach you to include and
invite you to Surprise Birthday party which he has planned for me today, you
are too much, why are you doing this way, just leave it know, how long will you
stay angry”. Oh great! Now I am a cold hearted and insensitive person too.
But he could have dropped me a simple message, if I didn’t take the call (I
thought in my mind). She left, I was at home and I was retrospecting the whole situation
and for me now I need to take a decision and that whole day I decided to reach
to a solution. I cannot stay hanging in dilemma forever.
I
first decided to clear the accounts that was pending, I just do not accept favors which is not out of love but just for the sake of formality. I made my
mind, I will buy a new rice bag and hand it to him. If he wants to eat/not, it
is his choice. What’s the point in
keeping it, when he is not eating, if I will not cook, atleast he can. I
decided, let New Year 2018 be the day of decision. On 1st Jan 2018
New Year, I did all my daily work, did grocery shopping and in the evening
handed the bag to her niece and told her. “Please take this back I cannot
keep this if he is not eating, he can do anything with this, he can use it and
if he doesn’t want, he can give it away in charity, it is like charity to me
and I do not accept charity so I cannot keep it”
Within
half an hour of my action baba reached in my room, I was happy to see him after
so long, I just turned my face to the other side to control my smile. Aunty was
in the room. He entered the room pretending to be normal but through his
movements I can figure out that he is angry. Just to start on a rather calm
mood, I asked him, “so finally you remember me” (I meant it in humorous
sense) but he was pissed off, he said why you sent rice bag back saying give it
in charity, you just cannot say that way and that you don’t accept charity, I
tried to give my explanation that if he is not eating then why should I keep it?
The talk was rather taking an ugly turn. So I tried explaining him the complete
story in brief starting from that incident day till New Year day, trying to
explain him why I did what I did. I told him to atleast once I was expecting
him to talk/scold me in a rightful way, he said, “I came after you that day,
I came till main door and then I left”. What is the point in doing this,
how would I know, you came when you didn’t even enter the room and while going
for a walk, I didn’t see anyone, neither at the door nor nearby lift? But soon
I realized I am wasting my time explaining things because
“People
only hear what they want to hear”
Just
to make him realize how I felt I asked him a question in a form of example, the
following question was put forth by me,
“Assume,
you have a daughter, because of your ignorance and no time she feels hurt and
she gets angry and go to her friends place. She stays there and doesn’t come
back, what will you do?”
I
was not expecting the answer which he gave me, he said,” I’ll let her stay
there, when her anger will go away she will automatically come back”.
Listening
to his answer I don’t know why, I felt really bad, how can you not go to your
daughter? What she wanted is just your time and energy. She is your daughter.
To
his reply, my instant reply was, “Oh, Thank God! You don’t have a daughter”-(Baba has a son back home
in Nepal), his expression changed and he said,” Insha’Allah, I will have
one!” and it took no time for me to realize in which sense he took my
words, “ He took it as a curse” but I didn’t meant it that way. It was an
example, the discussion just went haywire and out of control, I wanted to cry
but I didn’t, I tried explaining him in which sense I meant, I still regret
uttering those words, He told me, “I never thought Eswari you are such a
negative person and to this I said, “Yes if you think I am negative then
be it, you will no longer will have that negative person in your life”(I
couldn’t continue any further), I said I don’t want to talk anymore on this
topic, I just left the room and went out to calm myself. It was the night of 1st
January 2019, and the decision I was waiting for was out. My heart beats were
so audible to me in my eardrums that I thought it will just explode, the urge
to control my tears was failing. I felt so helpless and after walking for a
long time, I reached the beach and seeing the water, everything inside me just
calmed down. It was like a silence after the big storm. I was repeating the
whole incident again and again. I tried convincing myself that I guess I was
too attached, I expected things to be certain way and it didn’t happen that way
that is why I am having this emotional outburst. I just ruined a bond which I
thought was strong but it never was, right at its root. He existed for me but I
never did exist for them. They just don’t need me. For me they were family but for them I was
just the other person whose company they loved. How can I be such an emotional
fool? I decided, okay so this is it. Now in future, if he talks, I’ll talk or else
I will never ever be that fool who will be spending her time and energy on
someone for whom I just don’t exist. Decision was taken. I got hold of my silly
heart and emotions and came back home, now more relaxed.
I
busied myself in my own world, with Aunty (My roommates) always by my side- but
I was maintaining safe distance from everyone. Baba’s niece now stopped talking
with me, she separated all her stuff, she now used to convey message to me through
aunty, and I never know why she did it that way. I never actually did anything
wrong to her. We were staying in the same room, but we never talked. I talked
with aunty and the other roommates. Suddenly both my roommates Aunty and that
other Nepali girl left around mid-January 2018 (Aunty went back to India because
her mother met with an accident and that other Nepali girl went to annual leave
and was shifting to the other room too). I and Baba’s niece were now only two
people living in that room. Earlier my plans used to depend on other person’s
plan but now, I was making use of my time for myself. I used to have so much
time that it sort of became a routine- doing things at my own time, going to
office, coming back home cooking food, eating healthy, going out for a walk,
watching movie, reading books and getting enough sleep. During that time I used
to talk to very few people such as the Owner’s daughter and there entered a lady
in my life. She came as a neighbor to my room in the month of Jan 2018. She is
a Sri Lankan lady married to an Indian Man, they have an adorable daughter.
When she came she tried making conversation in the kitchen but was hesitant, I
never initiated any talk, I just used to do my work and leave. Now we share a
very nice relation, I call, her “Aaka”, she and aunty are two of the valued relations
I earned in 2018. Even though I lost some but I guess it was for the higher
good. Because my further meeting with Baba gave me further clarity about life
and about people.
A
person cannot change in a single day, my nature is to mend things and most
importantly end things in a correct way. One thing was always at the back on my
mind. I regretted uttering those words about the daughter thing to Baba, so I
thought I should just clarify it, this thing was always bothering me. February
2018 passed by. In March 2018, Baba’s niece brought her elder sister as a
roommate. So now I have two people. I was friendly with her sister just the
usual Hello and how you are things, but Baba’s niece never actually talked and
I never forced. If someone doesn’t want to talk I will never force, I will not
even look, I can assume the room is empty, their existence I can decline, I can
stay like this but trust me staying in the same room, and as a human being I
just sometimes feel emotions are something that connect us to life, if she doesn’t
want to talk fine, if I want to inform her something I will do directly. I used
to ask her normal things like whether she needs AC/light and stuff like that
but it used to end there only. I will not use a third person to convey a
message but my roommate did. She used to use aunty and sometimes owner’s
daughter to pass on the message.
One
time around March end around 10.00’o clock, that Nepali girl who left the room
in Jan 2018, called, because she came back from vacation, even though she took
all her stuff, she left her mattress behind, she said, she will send her friend
to collect it after she will leave the room, but her friend never came, the
mattress was on the bed and my roommates elder sister used it after she joined
us in the month of March 2018. That day,
I was in dilemma, how can I touch her sister’s stuff, her sister normally used
to have night shift, so she used to come in the morning, my roommate was
sleeping as she had her job at 6.00’o clock. What should I do, Should I wake
her up? Should I do shift the stuff myself? Or say nothing? Her friend didn’t
come and to my relief, my roomates got up suddenly to go to the washroom, I
took the opportunity and informed her that the other girl is coming to take the
mattress, it would be easy, if she will shift her things from the bed as per
her/your convenience, so that the friend can simply get the mattress and leave.
She said okay and she cleared the mattress and then she slept. The friend came
around 10.45 pm, collected the mattress and left.
I
have this ability to hide my presence by maintaining silence, I can do this
forever. I only intent that because of me no one should get disturbed. So I
used to plug in the cords in my ears to avoid their (my roommates)
conversations, mostly watching series. I
believe and follow this policy where,
“Once
I feel I am avoided by Someone, I Never disturb them again”
But
trust me, preparing your mind to ignore a person/decline their presence when
they are always around you is difficult as hell, I managed to do this till
April 2018. My annual leave was pending for the month of May 2018. I had some
work to handle in India. So I was visiting India in the month of May 2018. I
got my travel date and ticket planned and booked for 8th May 2018. I
decided that after I come back, I‘ll shift to other room and the decision was
locked. I will start fresh.
But
before going I wanted to take care of one matter, My heart was just not willing
to accept the scenario that the person I shared a nice bond once, if I want to
end it, I should end it in a proper way.
I was very much reserved to myself. I
was basically overthinking every day after 1st January’s fight about
the words I uttered. I was stuck there. In the Feb 2018 month, I dropped a
Whatsapp message to Baba, telling him, I want to meet, need to explain
something, neither your room, nor mine, we can meet outside. He said, “You
already hurt me by saying some things, I don’t want to talk further on this,
wasn’t it enough what you said, it is okay, if you want to talk on message. I
said,” Messages are deceiving, it leads to more misunderstanding. I will prefer
one on one talking “and he said no and last message he typed, “If you anytime
need me Eswari I will always be there”. My
final text message to him, I bond with people not out of need, it is heart that
I see”. After typing this, I deleted his no. forever. I tried everything to
resolve but in vain.
After
this message we crossed paths many times in the month of March, he smiled, I
responded, we met as stranger, just the normal Hi, Hello, how are you question?
After that he started visiting his niece again, coming to our room, but his
behavior used to be different, this was his different side , in room he never
even used to look at me. It was something which I thought was weird, he used to
talk normally when we meet outside, but in front of his niece he would not even
used to talk. Her niece stopped talking with me because of my fight with him.
But I never could understand, why was there much difference in his behavior
with me outside the room and during his visit to room. Okay so I never said
anything, I just kept quiet because after seeing his this side, now it doesn’t
even matter. Again March end, when I was out for my walk on Corniche, we
coincidentally met, he was staking. He called me from behind, I was listening
to Radio Mirchi, we walked back home together and we talked normally. He told
me about his roommates and everyone. I just listened. He said in April he will
be shifting to other room, I said,” That is a good News! “And we parted ways.
In April he shifted I guess. I didn’t see him after that under the building.
I
informed my Room owner in the month of April while giving rent that I will be going
and leaving the room in the month of May 2018, I will stay till 8th
May and I will take all my stuff, (in UAE we are supposed to give one month
prior notice). After I gave the notice, my roommate/ Baba’s Niece also gave the
notice and said that they (She her and her sister) will leave in the month of
May 2018, mentioning her job location shifted. I was okay with everything, in
fact I thought I could plan better if no know is in the room, I can move around
freely. The news didn’t affect me much. Now I was all set to go back to India
for my vacation and I was busy planning, shopping and packing things. Month of
April 2018 passed by without much stress.
But
how can a story end without a twist, and that twist was,” Aunty”. My decision
to leave was final, but just 2-3 days before the month of April 2018 was about
to end, Aunty called and said she is back in UAE. She doesn’t know anyone, so
she came back to the same room. She said, we will go together, you go on your
leave, come back and then we will shift to other room. She convinced me that we
will definitely go, you just keep your remaining baggage here, and I will be
here. Pay half month rent as they are allowing you to keep your stuff. Earlier
my plan was to keep the other non-carrying baggage at my brother’s place which
was a very hectic job because his place was 1 hour away from mine and taxi was
no option and shifting things in Bus is really exhausting. I got convinced, now
everything was sorted. I and aunty were staying together. I paid half rent for
May month. Aunty said she will search room in the month of May and as soon as I
will be back in June, we will directly shift to the new room. Plan changed and
modified. My other roommate (Baba’s niece and her elder sister) shifted their
stuff on 1st May 2018 and Baba came for their help and that was the last time I
saw them all. Just like that, no exchange of words. The end
I
was happy with the things ended. Atleast I tried to save a relation from my end
but I guess nothing ever works out as planned. I ended things with Baba in a
way that I do not regret anything now.
“Some
people are better left in your past no matter how bad you want them in your present”
I
was happy that I will be leaving the room and no longer need to live in the
past memories. I was happy because I was about to meet my family soon. On 8th
May 2018, I left UAE to spend my annual leave in India and the story
continues…..
This
is how my New Year 2018 started. The expectations that begin with a bowl of
Matta rice expecting nothing but that same time and energy, made me person I am
today, a person who now doesn’t expect anything from anyone. People who truly
cares stay in my life and people who don’t just drift apart and I that choice I
have given to the other person. No expectations, No Disappointments, No regret.
Expectation
hurts, I always knew this quote but that took me 4 months (Jan 2018 to April
2018) to realize how difficult it is, when this words are put into action but
once you pass that phase, that test. Trust me, there is nothing that can take
away your happiness because one thing I learned after coming out of that phase
is that we our self are responsible for our own actions. I suffered because I
chose to suffer. It was not his mistake, my own thoughts, over care, few expectations
and assumptions were the reason for my emotional and mental torture. If I am
doing something for someone that is my choice which I will/should never regret
doing because no one forced me to do it. Acceptance of this simple theory can
do miracles. In fact I am now so grateful that this incident happened in my
life because it changed my approach towards life. I am the same person, the
same vulnerable and naive person always meeting new people, observing things,
appreciating the nature and listening to people’s approach towards life. It is
amazing how easily you accept and understand things when you put yourself in
other person’s shoes, you realize why a certain person behave in a certain way.
It then just becomes so easy to forgive and forget. Now in 2019 I am a person
who believe in love, care, giving, kindness, living and cherishing each moment
of my breath and life, living in the present, facing the daily struggles and I
can do this because I simply stopped expecting anything from anyone. I am the
creator and carving hands of my life. So believe in yourself and
“Don’t
regret knowing the people who come into your life
Good
People give you Happiness
Bad People
give you Experience
The
worst one give you Lessons and
The Best
people give you memories”
And
the journey continues……………..
