The Crazy Man Next Door

Independence feels great. It either makes you a successful and confident person or a lost / directionless person depends how you use your freedom and who you surround yourself with. Being away from family made me more responsible and observant. On 12th May 2017, my independent journey began, I was all by myself, learning, observing and understanding things. My colleague arranged for my accomodation in UAE, where I shifted on 12th May 2017. There I was all alone, in a foreign land, with nobody by my side but I was not scared because everyone I met were kind and helpful. When I first saw the room, to be more specific it was not a room, it is called partition. In UAE, most people stay in partition/bedspace because rooms are expensive here. Partitions are like a room divided into many parts by putting a wooden barrier/wall in between. Sometimes a single room is divided into 2 to 4 partitions depending on the size of the room and the partition has enough space to fit a double deck bed and little space for arranging your stuff. You feel like you are staying in a train compartment. Mine was a partition where two people can stay and  till now I was alone (No sharing).  It was a small room divided into 2 partition.

Next day when I came back from office, I saw a man enter the other partition. It was scary and uncomfortable. I am not used to stay like this, in simple words, I was sharing a room with a stranger and the only protecting /distanting factor was, was that "wooden wall". This experience was awkward and a little uncomfortable because even though you cannot see anything on the other side of the partition because of the wooden barrier but you can hear everything(Even your yawning sound). He was the guy in his late 30's.

I used to get alert whenever he used to enter his partition. For weeks I didn't see his face, only the noise that someone is next door. I used to lock my door whenever he used to enter his partition. Half of my time was spent in the office and after office, I used to get home,cook my food, have my dinner, go for walk and then come back, read something and then   sleep. I had and still have a perfect schedule which keeps me busy, I was away from the room most of the time. That stranger's presence or absence really didn't matter. I was cool as long as the other person is within his/her zone not interfering in my personal space. I used to give a sigh of relief whenever I used to see that the other side of the partition is locked. The man next door didn't have any schedule, he doesn't had a fixed timing.Weeks passed and I don't know who my neighbour is. Only his silhouette is what I used to see. Whenever he used to enter his partition, my next move used to be is to lock the door and sleep. I have an advantage which most people doesn't have, I am a peaceful and deep sleeper. Once I am asleep no noise can disturb my sleep. Everything was working fine for me.

One day I came back home from office and the door of that other partition was open, while unlocking my door, the stranger next door immediately questioned me, "Who is there?". His voice was rough and loud. It was then when I saw my neighbour for the first time, he was a person from some Middle east country(from his accent), his english was good and could speak Arabic. I turned towards his door and said," I stay here". He said," Oh, sorry, I thought someone else is there, it's good to meet you.......".  Looking at him I figured out that he is a regular drinker and was in some kind of trouble/trauma because he was blabering things. He continued saying," ...........it's just that I don't know how can people stay in rooms like this, it is so small and, I don't believe I am staying in a place like this, it's so frustating." All I said is " Yeah, yeah, okay" and I immediately entered my room and locked it. I could feel my heart beats racing. That stranger who was staying next door, who I didn't know for weeks and was okay with it, after meeting him a feeling of fear engulfed me. The first impression of that man was scary. Any one can say he is a crazy, frustated with life, troubled and mentally disturbed person. That night I couldn't sleep because it made me realize where I am living. That man is strong enough to bring that wooden wall down in one hard knock if anything goes wrong. All I did was pray and wish not to have an encounter with him again. I somehow managed to sleep, shrugging off my fear.

After that encounter with my crazy neighbour, I couldn't sleep properly for many nights, I used to get scared even at a small noise. I was careful with everything, trying to make as little noise as possible, handling and managing all the things without making noise(thinking it might piss him off). I was living in fear in my own room. I am grateful that the man was respectful towards me that day and that he never tried talking to me. Slowly, I was coming back to my normal self. But fear somehow find its way to come back. 

One night when the man next door came back, I thought he will have his food and will go to sleep in a while. I was trying to sleep , it was late and I had office the next day. Usually what happened till now is,  I never paid attention when he entered or left his room(I guess most of the times he used to come late at night and till that time I used to be fast asleep, this way I was able to sleep at night ) but today I was not asleep and can hear his every movement. He was doing something with the plastic bags(May be opening/looking for something) and the voice was disturbing me, I was unable to sleep. I could hear him talking and then I realized he was talking on the phone (the phone was on speaker), he was talking with some lady in a high pitch, initially he was asking for forgiveness and asking her to come back to him and that he'll change, later hearing her answer he started using abusive words and I can say that he was drunk and the converstion was raising his temper. Suddenly he hit his fist hard on the wooden wall and that made me jump out of my bed. I was scared. He was shouting on the phone and when he disconnectd the phone, he continued abusing loudly. He was banging his hand in anger, in between kicking the wall and continuously using abusive words and talking to himself loudly. I cannot do anything because I was inside and was so scared to even try peeking out of my partition ( If his door is open, he can see me clearly leaving my room so I thought it is safe inside and I decided not to take any risks) and also it was late at night (Didn't want to disturb anyone, it is better that only one person gets disturbed than many). So I just sat on my bed helplessly. I tried shifting my attention from the noise and banging by reading an e-book but it was not helping. Fear gripped my heart and "what if?"questions were bothering me. After some time, the noises lowered, I guess he was calming himself down and in the process he started singing songs loudly(I didn't understand what to do whether to cry or laugh?). It was 3 at night and this man has ruined my sleep and he doesn't even know that because he was not in his senses.  I tried sleeping and eventually sleep got the better of fear. I managed to sleep  for some 2 to 3 hours that night( correction- next morning). It was my worst and the most scary night. Next morning I decided that I'll tell the room owner to change my room, with that thought I went to office.

Even though I was staying in a partition but I was paying rent of only bedspace(It was a room for two people and I was the only one staying in my partition, my upper bed was empty) which was a loss for the owner because if you are staying in partition no matter how many people are there, you have to pay the full partition rent, so the owner  always used to tell me that he will transfer me to other room. Initially I was not willing to change my room(Because I was enjoying my personal space and freedom) but now I desperately wanted to change my room. I took that point and talked with the owner that evening, not revealing about my ruined sleep because of that crazy man(thinking he might get in trouble because of my complaint). It was last week of May month. The owner responded," I will transfer you to other bedspace and the rent for that bedspace will be same as you are paying here and you will be sharing your room with two other Nepali girls, you won't be having any problem there, people there are nice and helpful" and on the same day, he took me to show me that room. It was in other flat but same building and same floor. Again it was a big room divided into 4 partitions. In one partition there was a Bangladeshi Couple, in second partition there was a  Nepali couple, in third partition there were two boys (One was a Pakistani guy and other an Indian)and in fourth partition there were two Nepali girls, where I will be joining them soon. This partition was spacious compared to my current partition and mine was an upper bed. There was a big window to which our bed was joined. I could see the outside view (which was beautiful) from my would be bed. When asked by the owner," What do you think about the room?" I immediately said" Yes, I am okay with the room and is ready to shift next month". On 1st June 2017, I happily shifted to my new room with new people surrounding me. Next Day I arranged my things. Both my roomates were co-operative and made space for my things. Everyone was nice and helpful. Apart from our room, there were three more rooms with partitions in it and all these rooms had one main door, one kitchen and two washrooms in common. I became acquainted to all the people from the new flat in a short span of time. Everyone was friendly. Life had taken a new turn.

In UAE, rents at paid at the start of each month. I get my salary on the 10th of each month, so on 10th I went to give rent to the owner and casually he asked me the reason for my decision to change the room, I told him my experience of that night, hearing which the owner told me the story of that man next door. He narrated ," He was homeless, so I brought him here. He is an engineer, a very intelligent man but lost his job and everything in his life came falling down. I knew him, so out of humanity I brought him here, thinking atleast he will have a roof above his head(it is better than staying on streets), he is not paying me anything for this room. He may be frustated in life but he will not harm anyone, you should have told me before".

I said," It's okay, now I am comfortable and happy in my new room, what's gone is gone". Saying this I left the room. The owner used to stay right next to my previous room, so while going to my room, I paused at the door of my previous room, the door was locked, I didn't open it. Sometimes it's better to let things be the way they are.

Life teaches us many things every now and then. After knowing that man's story, all I could feel for him was sympathy. I felt bad for him. I was not angry or scared anymore. He was going through the worst phase of his life, and me seeing (or you can say "listening") his behavior in his worst phase was a sheer coincidence. Maybe that was his way of dealing with problems. He was hurting himself that day by banging hands, kicking the wall and using abusive words to take out his frustation.  Maybe he didn't realize that I was next door and his actions might disturb /scare me. That night was tough for me but after hearing his story and comparing my one time conversation and that night experience with that man, I can say, it was extremely tough for that man himself. He was going through that feeling of helplessness, frustation and hoplesseness every single day. 

I am grateful that I didn't add to his misery by doing silly things such as fighting with him/complaining against him. I just hope everything gets better again in his life. 

The reason to share this experience is that it taught me to stay calm and be patient while dealing with hard situations. It taught me that,  

"There  is a story behind every person. There is a reason why they are the way they are. Think about that and respect them for who they are. Never take action without taking a thoughtful moment. Think, understand and then decide. Your actions/steps may add to the person's misery but your inaction,if not help but will definitely not add problems in the other person's life. Try to understand that other person's perceptive, situation and story before judging, fighting or acting against them."

By God's grace that crazy man was not that crazy to hurt/harm someone. I moved on in my life leaving behind the scary memories and was happy that my one month stay in that partition with "THE CRAZY MAN NEXT DOOR" was over. 

I was now ready to uncover a new story that life has planned for me. To write a new chapter with lots of bitter sweet experiences that was about to give me wisdom, reality check but still the belief that " Humans have not yet reached that phase where they cannot turn back, We still have a chance to make this world a better, happy and peaceful place for everyone"

I would like to end this story with a quote by Jane Clayson Johnson

" In every person's story there are unknowns-struggles only they know about, fears that they've tried to overcome but still harbor, disappointments & sorrow they bear. The last thing any of us wants-or needs- is to be judged by other who don't know our stories, in parts or at all"

# Be Patient, Be Calm and Be empathetic

P.S. : After 1 month, I saw that man again in our building elevator, he didn't gave me a sign of recognition (Maybe on the day we conversed, he was drunk and so he does not remember my face), he looked sober.  I was wondering whether everything has fallen in place in his life and that is still an unanswered question for me.